Wesley Mostly

There is something special about the baby of the family. I guess some of that can be attributed to the older siblings taking part, in some degree or another, in caring for a little baby and watching him grow. Wes had very curly hair as a baby and I remember that in our young family there was a collective sense of pride in those golden curls. He was so cute and fun and he always had such a kind and endearing nature that his given name was often supplanted by a more intimate nickname. Dad always called him Bubba and so the rest of us did as well.

As he continued to grow, his older brother Zach bestowed on Wes a silly nickname that has had surprising staying power over the years…at least among his brothers and sister. It was back in the days when Sesame Street was at its peak and somehow Zach knew the names of even the most obscure muppet characters on the program. There was a segment called the Leslie Mostly Show and it was a talk show spoof in which Leslie Mostly the muppet hostess interviewed other muppets like Guy Smiley, Cookie Monster and Kermit the Frog via satellite. Leslie rhymed with Wesley and hence the donning of “Wesley Mostly”.

Another memory I have of Wes is when he was about 12 years old so it must have been some time before I left on my mission. I had come home after my first year of college and I was sitting at the dinner table talking to my dad after dinner one night and Wes came in. He went behind my dad who was sitting at the head of the table and put both arms around him and rested his head on my dad’s shoulder. And then he just remained in that position as we continued to talk. I can remember thinking to myself, who is this kid who turned my dad into his personal teddy bear? He had a special relationship with both his mom and dad that was again especially evident in his last months and days and hours.

Wes’ battle with cancer went on for a long time. Early on, I knew that because of the cancer, he struggled with things that he never had before. Growing up, he was able to memorize staggering amounts of material. At one point, he was actively working on memorizing every single chapter heading of the Book of Mormon...a feat that he accomplished in high school. After the surgery, his ability to remember was diminished. Growing up, Wes was full of energy and enjoyed sports, lifting weights and challenging his body to perform various feats of strength such as sitting down indian style, placing his hands on the ground and lifting himself into a handstand. After all of the radiation and chemotherapy, his energy was drained and he was fatigued. During the time that Wes was going through all of this, on several occasions I had the chance to talk one on one with him. I can remember thinking that maybe if he could unload some of his frustrations on me, that would help him to cope. I would say things like "I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this, isn't it just so hard?" I would ask how he was feeling and if he was experiencing any pain. I can honestly say that I could never get him to fess up and tell me how terrible it was. I never once heard him complain. One day, after trying unsuccessfully to squeeze a little self pity out of him, he looked me in they eye and said "Mark, I needed this." I couldn't believe my ears. When I asked him what he meant by that, he said "I think the Lord knows that I could not have become the person I need to become without this trial." That is Wes. No self pity, no complaining, genuine humility, eternal optimism, and uncompromising faith.

I will miss you Wesley Mostly!

Your Brother Mark